Sunday, December 19, 2010

Ways to Count the Days

Today is 8 days past my 5-day embryo transfer (8dp5dt), where my morula and two 8-cell embies were tranferred to my warm, waiting uterus.

This makes me 13 days past my retrieval (ovulation).

My beta is in 3 days, on Wednesday.  I have not POAS and I don't plan to do so until, at earliest, Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning.

I'm supposed to drive to the mountains (only a 3 hour drive) sometime Wednesday to meet my family for Christmas.  My iPhone does not get service in the mountain house, I actually have to drive 10 - 15 minutes into town to get reception... so I'll need to wait until my RN calls back on Wednesday before I leave for the mountains.

Of course, if it's positive I'll be ECSTATIC and, after making some calls & texts, I'll have no problem making the drive to see my family.  But if it's not positive... will I be in the state of mind to drive to the mountains that day?  What about the next day?

As for packing... do I need to get my progesterone supplements refilled so I can continue taking them through the holiday or will I not need progesterone?  Will I need to pack tampons?  Wine?

If it's negative how will I make it through the holiday with my family?  I'll be fragile and want to isolate but I'll still be expected to participate in the holiday activities... I'll be sharing a house with my parents and my sister's family and a total of 4 dogs (including my 2).  My bedroom is in the basement where the playroom is too...

I have so much hope I'll get my Christmas miracle... but with 3 days left in the 2ww I also have a lot of fear... what if I'm not pregnant?

While I hope I don't need to fall back on this, I did learn some amazing news the other day... in 2011 my company will have no lifetime maximum on infertility treatments.  Previously the maximum was $10k which I've pretty much used up with this one IVF (all 6 IUI's were out of pocket).  This news gives me peace of mind that I wont have to go broke trying to conceive my child... while I'll still have to cover the cost of sperm and many, many co-pay's, it will still be an AMAZING savings that does bring me a bit of peace.  My future decisions on TTC will not be weighted financially, but it will be more about how much I can take emotionally.

This time around I'm not acknowledging anything that could be construed as a symptom.  I've taken, injected and inserted far too many hormones to trust anything I feel could actually be a pregnancy symptom rather than a hormone side-effect.

I'm heading out now to meet-up with some local SMC's (Single Mom's by Choice) in various stages of the process.  While I love everyone I have met through this blog on my journey... and will continue to stay connected... I look forward to the day that my life (and blog) becomes about being a SMC, rather than infertile.  

13 comments:

  1. Oh my fingers and toes are crossed for you! Not long now to get some answers. I know what you mean about the planning, I have kept running out of tampons all this year due to not wanting to buy them "just in case". How long will it take for you to get the beta result? Maybe if it is going to be late afternoon you should just postpone your drive until Thursday anyway? Even with good news it's not great to have to leave late, and it might take the pressure off a bit?
    GOOD LUCK for a BFP!!!!!! Now that you have all that extra insurance, the laws of the universe would suggest that you will never need it ;-)

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  2. I am so hoping this is it for you. I got my BFP at 8dt3dt...so it is not too soon...if you change your mind. This is going to be your Christmas miracle, I just know it.

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  3. It's so hard the last few days! I am praying for your Christmas Miracle!

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  4. Only three days more to wait! This is really good. The timing really does make things complicated with the holiday and all the family stuff though.

    If I were in your shoes, knowing my personality, I'd go with the idea that this IVF round was a practice run for the next time. I'd do everything I could to emotionally prepare for negative and be totally celebrating that your company, unbelievably, is going to cover the cost of your future treatments. (What an AWESOME place!!! I'm in SHOCK!)

    But that said, you do need to take progesterone with you as this is absolutely essential to staying pregnant after IVF (your body doesn't naturally produce this since they removed the corpus luteum).

    I really, really, really hope you get your Christmas miracle. Will you tell your family the good news?!

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  5. 3 days! I am so hoping for you...hoping you'll have an excited drive up to the mountain house know you have a BFP...hoping you won't need your company's new benefit for treatments as you'll have already conceived...keeping my fingers & toes crossed for you!!!

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  6. Oh, I so hope that this is the week your blog starts to become about being an SMC! And while that's really wonderful news about your insurance coverage, I hope it's news you really don't need. *fingers and toes crossed*

    I hope ya'll had fun today - I'm so sorry I missed it again!

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  7. Sending good vibes to you!!

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  8. Oh, I really hope it's positive! Fingers crossed for you!

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  9. oh, boo... I just typed a long comment and lost it. Sigh :) Here we go again:

    Sending prayers and tons of sticky baby dust to you. I'm keeping all my things crossed for a positive for you!

    As for bringing stuff, I'd go for bringing both the suppositories and tampons. I have a friend who believes that if you prepare for the worst it will prevent it from happening. When I had surgery I was talking with her about whether or not I wanted to set up a healthcare proxy and write and will and she insisted that I should. She said that if I did it would prevent anything from going wrong.

    I'm not sure I buy into that logic, but I do believe in being prepared. Keep us updated!!

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  10. Good luck!! I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

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  11. Oh I was beginning to get worried when you hadn't posted for a while. I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you... the waiting is awful and right before christmas sucks!

    BTW found your blog while blog hopping one day. Skimmed your whole process. I'm pulling for you!

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  12. Best of luck tomorrow!! I have every finger and toe crossed for you!!

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