Today is 8 days past my 5-day embryo transfer (8dp5dt), where my morula and two 8-cell embies were tranferred to my warm, waiting uterus.
This makes me 13 days past my retrieval (ovulation).
My beta is in 3 days, on Wednesday. I have not POAS and I don't plan to do so until, at earliest, Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning.
I'm supposed to drive to the mountains (only a 3 hour drive) sometime Wednesday to meet my family for Christmas. My iPhone does not get service in the mountain house, I actually have to drive 10 - 15 minutes into town to get reception... so I'll need to wait until my RN calls back on Wednesday before I leave for the mountains.
Of course, if it's positive I'll be ECSTATIC and, after making some calls & texts, I'll have no problem making the drive to see my family. But if it's not positive... will I be in the state of mind to drive to the mountains that day? What about the next day?
As for packing... do I need to get my progesterone supplements refilled so I can continue taking them through the holiday or will I not need progesterone? Will I need to pack tampons? Wine?
If it's negative how will I make it through the holiday with my family? I'll be fragile and want to isolate but I'll still be expected to participate in the holiday activities... I'll be sharing a house with my parents and my sister's family and a total of 4 dogs (including my 2). My bedroom is in the basement where the playroom is too...
I have so much hope I'll get my Christmas miracle... but with 3 days left in the 2ww I also have a lot of fear... what if I'm not pregnant?
While I hope I don't need to fall back on this, I did learn some amazing news the other day... in 2011 my company will have no lifetime maximum on infertility treatments. Previously the maximum was $10k which I've pretty much used up with this one IVF (all 6 IUI's were out of pocket). This news gives me peace of mind that I wont have to go broke trying to conceive my child... while I'll still have to cover the cost of sperm and many, many co-pay's, it will still be an AMAZING savings that does bring me a bit of peace. My future decisions on TTC will not be weighted financially, but it will be more about how much I can take emotionally.
This time around I'm not acknowledging anything that could be construed as a symptom. I've taken, injected and inserted far too many hormones to trust anything I feel could actually be a pregnancy symptom rather than a hormone side-effect.
I'm heading out now to meet-up with some local SMC's (Single Mom's by Choice) in various stages of the process. While I love everyone I have met through this blog on my journey... and will continue to stay connected... I look forward to the day that my life (and blog) becomes about being a SMC, rather than infertile.