Thursday, October 28, 2010

Pregnant or Just Crazy?

Today I am 9dpiui. This is the best week I can recall having in a very long time... perhaps since my first IUI cycle in May.  I have been optimistic about IUI#6 and I continue to be optimistic.  This makes me quite happy!

Those who have followed my blog through my cycles know that I tend to get pessimistic in the second week of the 2ww.  I know that pessimism is to soften the brutal blow of a potential BFN, because each BFN hurts.  This month I'm realizing that the pessimism has been fueled by lack of the slightest, smallest symptom.

IUI#6 Symptom run down (IUI was Tues. 10/19, I think I ovulated the night before):

  • Sunday 
    • BBT dropped to 97.5, the two previous days were 98.2 & 98.4 (the "dip"?)
    • Occasional pressure, like a bruise being pushed on, in my abdomen (implementation cramping?)
  • Monday 
    • BBT jumped to 98.6
    • Specks of blood on TP 3 times (implantation bleeding?)
    • Occasional abdomen pressure/cramping
  • Tuesday
    • Boobs slightly tender when sleeping on stomach
    • BBT still 98.6
  • Wednesday
    • BBT at 98.4
    • Boobs still occasionally tender, just feel different than norm
  • Thursday
    • BBT at 98.4
    • Boobs still have that different feeling
    • Lower back cramping, but different than AF cramping
Conclusion:
I don't know!?!  This is different than my previous 5 IUI cycles.  I really think I could be pregnant but I cant be sure... could I just have gone insane?  Could I be imagining the "symptoms"?  This is why I actually took a photo of TP #2 - which had the least amount of specks... but I wanted evidence that I saw something, because by now I'd be telling myself I didn't (but I did!).

To POAS or Not to POAS...
My beta date is Tuesday (and as mentioned before, that's also the date of my IVF consult).  Of course, if implantation happened so early (Sun//Mon) then by Saturday my HCG should register.  I told myself if my symptoms got stronger I could test as early as Friday, but I wouldn't say symptoms have gotten any stronger than earlier this week.  

I have been planning all along to POAS on Sunday so I could begin to cope with a BFN if that was the result.  BUT...  I really am enjoying this week believing I could actually be pregnant.  If I actually am pregnant, I want to know as soon as I can know... but if I'm not pregnant I don't want to ruin that feeling by finding out too soon that I'm not pregnant, just crazy.  



14 comments:

  1. It's such an awful roller coaster, isn't it?? So brutally unfair! I'm sorry, I wish I could offer some answers! But I'm behind you every step! I'm like you, back when we were TTC (for 3+ years) I always just made a conscious decision during the second half of the 2WW to just accept that I wasn't pregnant. Toward the end of the process I almost started to just ignore the whole 2WW. Neither technique made it hurt any less, isn't that rude?! Hehe.

    My fingers are crossed HARD for you!!!

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  2. I say you should continue enjoying the symptoms and the hope and test next week on your beta day. But I'm the kind of person who likes surprises and opening presents on Christmas. I also found that the two times I've been pregnant were the two times I didn't feel the need to test early. I just felt more positive and less panicky. So, I kind of think that your feeling more positive might be a symptom too... based on my completely unscientific study. :) I SO HOPE THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!

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  3. First, I agree with what Amber said, if its a BFN, no matter which technique you employ its not going to hurt any less.

    However, given everything, especially the fact that this is a different kind of luteal phase from your normal one, its highly likely that you are indeed preggers(!!!). However, very, very few people get a BFP at 9 DPO. I'd wait till 10 days and start testing. BUT: if you want to know as soon as possible, you have to get used to the idea of seeing a few BFNs even if you ARE pregnant.

    If its truly killing you not to POAS, then POAS. I should warn you, those sticks show super duper faint lines in the start- so be prepared to squint very, very hard. And also, if you are indeed pregnant, things can change in terms of line not being there and then appearing, in a matter of hours. Seriously.

    Best of luck!!! Got fingers and toes crossed!

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  4. yay for symptoms! I'd wait a bit.. especially since you want to hold on to the hope even if you're not preggers. at least till tomorrow, if you really can't wait. but for me, i'd wait till 11 or 12dpiui.

    thinking about you and sending baby thoughts your way :)

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  5. I'd be testing already if this was me. I had no patience at all. I remember having my cramps, pressure, being so sure I was pregnant about a week after my IUI that I had to test. Sometimes that feeling of just knowing it, being so positive about it, feeling it, is real. For me it was and I'm hoping it is for you too!

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  6. The symptoms sound promising, and all good signs. I want this one to be BFP for you. You are in my thoughts.

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  7. These are all such good signs!!!

    With my current pregnancy I had all those signs, except the implantation bleeding, but still had a BFN 10dpIUI - so I'd definitely wait until at least 12dpIUI.

    *fingers and toes crossed*

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  8. I agree with Shannon...if you can hold off, hold onto your positive thoughts & wait on testing. Your symptoms sound so promising so to get an early false negative would be difficult to deal with. I am so hoping & praying for your BFP!!

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  9. VERY VERY good signs!!!!
    I have every finger and toes crossed for you!!

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  10. I'm going to say that if you absolutely can. not. wait. then go for it and POAS. However, like Jay said, it's entirely possible that you'll get a false BFN. Don't lose faith. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!

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  11. I'm holding out so far... I want to continue to feel happy and hopeful! I'm still sticking to Sunday as my earliest POAS date... hoping I don't have a moment of weakness and cave. I did pee in a cup this morning (for first morning's urine) but after debating it, flushed it without testing. Just a few more days...

    BTW... BBT today 98.6 (5 days over 98.4, since the 'dip').

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  12. I didn't get a BFP until Day 13 so don't get discouraged with early tests. Enjoy this time - I remember dreaming of double pinks lines and I had the same symptoms as you except for the implantation bleeding.

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  13. I went through the TTC journey (with clomid) for 3 years and I know all too well the 2WW-Madness and what one is capable of. LOL

    I hope it was implantation -- I had it on my first (successful) pregnancy but by that time I was so depressed about all the BFN's that I ignored it.

    I finally broke down and was filling out adoption applications, and randomly POAS (last one in the house) and got a suuuuper light BFP. My son is now 2 years old.

    For what it's worth, the digital tests said "not pregnant" through my entire pregnancy (the regular 2-lines tests worked fine though).

    Anyways... my rambling had a point: my fingers are crossed for you. I know how hard the waiting/wondering is. {hug}

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  14. Did you test? Did you test? Did you test?

    It all seems so very positive.

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