Wanted: Politically Correct Porn Coordinator

So Dr. T was available to do my IUI yesterday.  The new swimmers were 30 million strong; they successfully survived the weekend on my kitchen table!  At this moment my big ole Follie either was fertilized or it wasn't... but I won't know for sure until sometime around October 4th.  

During the IUI preparation, I was explaining to Dr. T and my favorite RN S, the "drama" of last week which led to the need for me to spend the weekend with the Swimmers in the house.  Somehow this led to Dr. T talking about the questionable porn collection maintained in the collection rooms at the clinic.  One of her clients mentioned to her one of the titles found in the collection...  "Triple Midgets" (I have not googled this title)...  

S and I just started quietly cracking up as Dr. T explained that she went to Dr. W and asked him to screen the porn in the collection rooms to ensure it was "appropriate".  Apparently a few ladies in the Lab decided to "take one for the team" and screen Triple Midgets... and the consensus was it was just "wrong", plus it looked like it had been filmed in someone's garage... Big surprise?  

While Dr. T relating this story was truly funny, what made it hysterical was that my sweet nurse S was trying so hard to hold in her giggles without success and she seemed truly amazed that this was coming from Dr. T.  S kept looking at me and I kept looking at her and that made it worse, we were both in hysterics.

Hopefully laughter is EXCELLENT for an IUI... because if that is the case then I'd say this was a success.  

Cycle 5, Day 12... One Follie... early IUI

I am now entering the pre-ovulation phase for my 5th IUI cycle (pre-ovulation is my term, not a medical term).  This is my first cycle on the Femara & Gonal-F.  I've also been sick all week, my BBT has been OFF THE CHARTS... up to 1 full degree higher than my typical Luteal phase temp.  I assume it's the illness but wonder if the new drugs have anything to do with elevated temps?  I'm hoping I didn't FRY my eggs...

My CD12 ultrasound was this morning.  This month I have ONE good Follie, 24mm, on my left ovary (last month I had two 18mm follies on my right ovary).  Currently my right ovary has several follies less than 8mm...  basically they are taking the month off and letting this one follie on my left Ovary do all of the heavy lifting.

I'm happy with the 24mm Follie.  I'm just concerned that with the drug regimen I've just completed that there wasn't more than one.  Dr. T was actually the doctor in the office today so she mentioned that IF I need a 'next' cycle that she may put me on birth control first to suppress the cycle and ideally get both ovaries to produce some good Follies... this is something I know is usually done in IVF but she thought given what we've learned over my cycles that it would be good to add in for me in an IUI cycle.

Anyway, I've been instructed to trigger tonight and come in tomorrow morning... I guess Ovulation is imminent and so my IUI may be tomorrow instead of Tuesday.  

I'm actually really happy that my IUI will probably be tomorrow (except for my work schedule conflicts I'll have to juggle).  I was starting to feel a little foolish for having the Swimmers delivered to my house yesterday rather than counting on them being delivered to my clinic by Tuesday morning... cutting it very close for my originally anticipated Tuesday IUI.  IF I had not made that decision... I could have gone through this expensive cycle only to get to IUI day with no Swimmers.  

The swimmers, by the way, are still hanging out on the kitchen table.

The Swimmers are in the House

Just how many vials did I purchase, you ask?  Only two...  

I was talking with my friend R recently and we were cracking up because she was astounded at how much $$ money I was spending on sperm.  I'm paying top dollar for the stuff we usually snub, ick, get it off of me...  

And this stuff is also WASTED by millions of men in mass quantity every day... 


...yet I continue to shell out thousands of dollars for the tiniest little bit.

Seriously... if I can't laugh about it I would be crying!

The Sit Down

WOW!  I can't believe it's only Tuesday... it feels like it should be end of day Thursday!  It's my last week at my current job and they are taking advantage of every minute I have left...  plus, I like to leave things in the best condition possible for the people I'm transitioning my responsibilities to.  

My appointment with the doctor on Monday was at 3:30.  Due to work demands I had the appointment (scheduled 6 weeks ago) very carefully coordinated with my obligations.  I had an important meeting to facilitate at 3pm so I coordinated with a colleague to take over the meeting once I got it kicked off and on track.  I dialed back in on my cell phone and finished the meeting as I was walking into the reception area.  I had another meeting I needed to run at 4:30... lucky for me my office is less than 10 minutes from the RE clinic.  No problem... if the doctor was running on the schedule I planned!

When I got there the receptionist - who I really like - asked if I needed to run an errand and come back in 30 minutes because Dr. T was running behind...  I actually did need to run to Kinkos, not far away, to fax documentation to the new Sperm Bank... but I feared it would take too long...  so I just took a couple of work calls and coordinated moving my 4:30 meeting.  At 4:20 I went back to meet with Dr. T (yes, 50 minutes late).  

Dr. T was great.  She is very easy to talk with when you get her time.  We talked about my cycles, my numbers, etc.  My key question was about the timing of the IUI.  She offered a good option which is to do a late day IUI (rather than the standard 11am IUI) because of my ovulation timing in the last 3 cycles.  Additionally we'll do an IUI the next morning.  It's going to be twice the cost in donor sperm but I think it's worth a couple of tries. 

Because of my upcoming MUCH BETTER insurance coverage (due to the new job I start Monday) effective October 1, I agreed that 1 more cycle of Clomid (after this cycle), for a total of 4 Clomid cycles, would be good before moving to injectibles... and conversations about IVF.

Like I said, she is a talker when you actually get time with her...  we talked about the new Jennifer Aniston movie (the RE's had tickets for a screening tonight), compared expectations to the J. Lo movie and the reviews we heard about the "Kids are OK" movie which neither of us have seen yet.  We talked about Weight Watchers & exercise and carbs impact on cholesterol.  

I'm feeling better going into this cycle since everything is out of my control.  My biggest frustration has been the timing of the IUI since I am completely dependent on the doctor to put the Swimmers in the right place at the right time.  With the approach we discussed I feel better about the timing.  Now, time will tell.

It's a SMC TTC Kind of Day

Monday is the "sit down" I scheduled back with Dr. T back on the day I posted my rant Doctor Who? 

Of course, as I've mentioned in past blog posts, I have calmed down since then and my attitude is much better AND Dr. T was there to perform my IUI#3 last cycle.  

Today I have spent the day primarily focused on TTC activities.  I have been documenting the details of each cycle but I had not put them on a chart... Now everything is on charts.

Dr. T has not been happy with my donor counts since IUI#1 and recommended I find a new cryobank and donor Swimmers.  This morning I downloaded all of the forms necessary to order Swimmers.  I also took my previously narrowed down list of 12 to 6 and then to 2 (and "only" spending $190 on the "extras" to narrow it down).  I'm happy with either of the final two.  I hope they have good numbers... how do you know until they crack the vial just before the IUI?!?

Funny, picking the Swimmers the second time around was much easier.  I guess I learned from my first experience.  What's most important to me, after narrowing down by high level physical features (i.e. ethnicity), is medical history.  One of my favorite bloggers going through her second donor search did a blog on How to Choose a Sperm Donor just this week.

Next I need to write out my questions for my doctor...  Other than questions about 1) IUI timing, amount & progesterone levels,  and 2)  when do we need to get more aggressive/switch things up?  Anyone have input to other questions I should be asking???

  

IUI #3

The Good News!

• I ovulated naturally (drug-free cycle)!!!
• My IUI progesterone was 1.6 
• Doctor likes it to be 1.5ish so it was right there in range
• The IUI was on Thursday, July 29
• Is it ironic that this day was my last long-term boyfriend's birthday?  One of the biggest factors in ending things was that although I wanted a child but I couldn't imagine it would be a good thing to have a child with him. 
• Donor Swimmers were 11MM strong
• Not the greatest number but not bad... it only takes ONE
• My doctor was in the office, she did my IUI!
• I went in the day before for bloodwork and I would not have seen her if my IUI was that day
• I have my progesterone supplements and will start them at the RIGHT time this cycle
• Last month (first time on progesterone) I didn't start until 8 1/2 dpiui
• My Beta date is Tuesday, August 10
• I turn 39 on the 7th so the ongoing debate will be....  do I test on my birthday or not?

The Other News...

My doctor is concerned with my donor's counts and recommended I consider finding another.  I've been thinking about this anyway.  This was my last vial from my original order so it's a good time to switch things up (if this cycle doesn't take).  While my original Swimmer Picker Party was a BLAST, I've had some regrets that I made the choice so public with my (close) friends.  This will give me the opportunity to use what I've learned and quietly make my own selection; no one else will know the details.

Knock me up, please!

Today was the day for my second attempt to get pregnant!  I had to wait an extra couple of days (today is CD16).  The OPK has been smiling since Monday evening (still smiling) and my progesterone today was 2.08 (yesterday it was 0.45).  My doctor likes any progesterone over 1.5.

Upon thawing out my Swimmers for their mission, they were only at 8mm (last month they were at 22mm).  How can the same donor differ so much? My clinic put an inquiry into the cryobank (which will take about 10 days for response).  Since today was the day, I didn't hesitate when asked if I wanted to open and add a second vial to the mix (that makes $1260 in Swimmers used today), leaving me with one vial left (originally ordered four).  Here's hoping that last vial is never needed!

This combined set of Swimmers had good numbers.  The total was 23mm, 90% motility.  Great numbers, but I expected that from a single vial!

My doctor and nurse are on vacation this week so another doctor performed the IUI.  He was very good, explained things as he went (I like doctors who tell me what's going on and what it means... I'm the kind of person who needs to understand the details).

My official test date is July 12.  My expected AF date is July 11.... here's hoping AF doesn't come for a long, long, long (x40 weeks) time!

Positive thoughts & Baby Dust!!!

The O Factor

Last week was the big day; the FIRST time in my life I have INTENTIONALLY tried to get pregnant!  Let's all pray the first time is the Charm! 

After work last week (before my IUI), my Supper Club girlfriends met up for our monthly gathering of food & cocktails.  Everyone was happy to hear that the Big Day is here!  They were asking me questions about how it works...  I answered what I could - but I was sure I didn't know exactly what to expect.

A couple of the girls were curious whether it would help to have a 'Big O'?  A good question.  My response... while having a Big O is usually an ideal part of getting pregnant, I really think I'd be humiliated to feel any level of pleasure - with the doctor "down there".  

Technically speaking, the IUI is less invasive than a pap smear.  The frozen Swimmers will have been thawed and measured/tested, they will be inserted directly in my uterus.  I've read that there is "unscientific evidence" that a Big O can be helpful when conceiving naturally as it may help the Swimmers move through the vagina and cervix into the uterus.  In the case of an IUI, the Swimmers start in the uterus.

So while there will be no O Factor in this process - what matters most is getting the best Swimmer past the Goalie!!!


Now... I simply wait...

And the Swimmer Winner is...

Friday night I had several good friends over for a "Swimmer Party". I highly doubt that many people are lucky enough, in their lifetime, to be privy to such an event... I planned it as a fun, interactive way for people close to me to get involved with my journey - from the start... it turned into SO MUCH MORE!

Over the past couple of months I have spent countless hours pouring over Swimmer profiles (I prefer the term Swimmers over Sperm/Donor). I'll cover the key criteria in my selection in a later post.

For those friends & family who could not make it to the party, I provided the info on my Top 3 choices so they could vote virtually. The rest of my friends came to my home for a fun & robust review of the Top 3. Both virtually and in person, I never expected the level of due diligence each person put into the selection. As I realized this, I became extremely overwhelmed... and scared.

I was overwhelmed because, beyond the obvious jokes and laughs, they really understood what an important decision this was for me, and my future child. There was heavy debate and even some raised voices (although no actual arguments), they wanted more information -than just the summary I provided for them.

After the party I found myself questioning my (already chosen) first choice. I spent a large part of the weekend researching more on my Top 2, paying the extra money for more detailed information on both candidates. I even looked back at other candidates I had previously eliminated AND searched another top Cryobank for a potential new option to appear to me... all which led me back to my first choice.

This morning I made the call. I ordered the Swimmers which will create 1/2 the genetic makeup of my future child. It was truly a surreal feeling. Afterward, I emailed some of my new friends who had been through this stage of their journey's recently and they told me they went through the same thing.

One friend put it best "For me, I just wanted to get the swimmers ordered and then forget about them because the more I thought about it the more I wondered if I made the right choice. I have not looked at my donors information since I ordered!"

That's exactly how I feel now.

How many False Start's does it take?

I started this blog nearly 9 months ago (an ironic number). It was a False Start.

I cancelled my appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) 3 times.

Things I didn't cover in my first post include - after a long, secure, successful career I was laid off in early 2009. After the layoff, I decided to try to make it on my own, freelancing. While I enjoyed the freelancing schedule and creativity, the lack of secure income (too small to cover my mortgage) caused more anxiety than it was worth... I learned this lesson late in the year.

Deciding that making a secure income was more important than how I made my income (so I did not have to give up my dreams), I went back to corporate life toward the end of the year.

Since returning to a secure income, I've had (and kept) several appointments with my RE, had an HCG test (tubes are clear) and a hysteroscopy (surgery to remove a polyp in my uterus). This morning I ordered my Swimmers and I am waiting on my next cycle for my first 'try'.

Just this past weekend I had a Swimmer Party, picking my final donor 'swimmers'. My next post will be on this overwhelming process.

I've been thinking about moving forward with having a baby for years, originally it was going to be at age 35, then 37, now I'm nearly 39... have any of you been through your own series of false starts? What did it take to push you beyond this stage?