And the Swimmer Winner is...

Friday night I had several good friends over for a "Swimmer Party". I highly doubt that many people are lucky enough, in their lifetime, to be privy to such an event... I planned it as a fun, interactive way for people close to me to get involved with my journey - from the start... it turned into SO MUCH MORE!

Over the past couple of months I have spent countless hours pouring over Swimmer profiles (I prefer the term Swimmers over Sperm/Donor). I'll cover the key criteria in my selection in a later post.

For those friends & family who could not make it to the party, I provided the info on my Top 3 choices so they could vote virtually. The rest of my friends came to my home for a fun & robust review of the Top 3. Both virtually and in person, I never expected the level of due diligence each person put into the selection. As I realized this, I became extremely overwhelmed... and scared.

I was overwhelmed because, beyond the obvious jokes and laughs, they really understood what an important decision this was for me, and my future child. There was heavy debate and even some raised voices (although no actual arguments), they wanted more information -than just the summary I provided for them.

After the party I found myself questioning my (already chosen) first choice. I spent a large part of the weekend researching more on my Top 2, paying the extra money for more detailed information on both candidates. I even looked back at other candidates I had previously eliminated AND searched another top Cryobank for a potential new option to appear to me... all which led me back to my first choice.

This morning I made the call. I ordered the Swimmers which will create 1/2 the genetic makeup of my future child. It was truly a surreal feeling. Afterward, I emailed some of my new friends who had been through this stage of their journey's recently and they told me they went through the same thing.

One friend put it best "For me, I just wanted to get the swimmers ordered and then forget about them because the more I thought about it the more I wondered if I made the right choice. I have not looked at my donors information since I ordered!"

That's exactly how I feel now.

Just getting started

My 38th birthday passed by a few weeks ago. I'm a never-married, successful professional woman. Over the years I've put more into my career than I have in relationships. I've had a few significant relationships over the years but none were Mr. Right. My heart has been broken and I have broken hearts. When it comes down to it, Mr. Adequate is not someone I want to roll the dice with for the long haul. I still believe in love, even though it had eluded me.

I've had this "back up plan" in my head for years, but of course hoped that I'd find my love first. At the same time, I've never been one to wait for a man to do what I want in life; I've bought a house (a few over the years), traveled extensively, invested, have dogs, etc. The biggest thing in my life I've been waiting in "him" for is to have a family.

I've just begun taking "baby" steps to start a family. I've had a physical, gone to the open house at a highly recommended endocrinology clinic and set an appointment with the doctor there. I'm reading everything I can get my hands on about being a "Choice mom" and talking with my friends about being a support system for me and my child.

Over the coming months I will dive into all of this and more: sharing my journey, what I am learning, the difficult decisions, the family concerns (parents & siblings), financial concerns, planning for the unexpected, the emotions...

Thank you for reading. As I work through a few of the concerns listed (family & job), I will remove the anonymous nature of my postings. I have also set up a twitter account. Follow me @singlemom2b