Here She Comes! Here she IS!!!

I can feel the symptoms that AF is on her way and will be here soon.  So far she is a day late from my normal short cycle, due to the progesterone, I presume.  

The strange thing is that after this 3rd cycle BFN  - I'm not emotional.  The first two BFN's were CRAZY-disappointing!  I was in tears off & on as I 'grieved' the failed cycle.  This cycle I moved straight into acceptance.  I think after my emotional meltdown last time around I have come to accept that this IS a process and it is all a part of the JOURNEY of motherhood.  

No doubt I'm learning valuable lessons that I've not even yet recognized.  The one lesson I have come to recognize is PATIENCE...  I feel that I now have patience to go the distance, however far the distance may be...???

In the time it took to write this brief post, she arrived.  Welcome back, Aunt Flo and the start of Cycle #4 (and a new donor, yet to be identified).

IUI #3

The Good News!

• I ovulated naturally (drug-free cycle)!!!
• My IUI progesterone was 1.6 
• Doctor likes it to be 1.5ish so it was right there in range
• The IUI was on Thursday, July 29
• Is it ironic that this day was my last long-term boyfriend's birthday?  One of the biggest factors in ending things was that although I wanted a child but I couldn't imagine it would be a good thing to have a child with him. 
• Donor Swimmers were 11MM strong
• Not the greatest number but not bad... it only takes ONE
• My doctor was in the office, she did my IUI!
• I went in the day before for bloodwork and I would not have seen her if my IUI was that day
• I have my progesterone supplements and will start them at the RIGHT time this cycle
• Last month (first time on progesterone) I didn't start until 8 1/2 dpiui
• My Beta date is Tuesday, August 10
• I turn 39 on the 7th so the ongoing debate will be....  do I test on my birthday or not?

The Other News...

My doctor is concerned with my donor's counts and recommended I consider finding another.  I've been thinking about this anyway.  This was my last vial from my original order so it's a good time to switch things up (if this cycle doesn't take).  While my original Swimmer Picker Party was a BLAST, I've had some regrets that I made the choice so public with my (close) friends.  This will give me the opportunity to use what I've learned and quietly make my own selection; no one else will know the details.

I'm Glad I Asked!

Let this be a lesson to anyone reading who is TTC....  ask for what you need!


The result of my progesterone test today was 11.5; the nurse stated it's a "little low" (the doctor likes to see it over 15).  I have started a supplement called Crinone, once a day (thanks for the feedback on the best supplement, Shannon, it helped me make the decision easy).  


Mom wanted to know what the progesterone means, here's what I told her:  


The insert says:  The progesterone will help prepare the lining of your uterus so that it is ready to receive and nourish a fertilized egg.  If pregnancy occurs, the suppliment may be used for 10 - 12 weeks until production of progesterone by the placenta is adequate.


Now to continue with the wonderful 2ww.

I'm not a Doctor but I play one while TTC

I'm continuing to learn that when it comes to TTC, just like my career and all other aspects of life, no one looks out for your best interests better than YOU.  

I would have loved to become a doctor except I knew there was no way I could get past the blood, needles and knives part of the job description.  Now I'm one of those women who researches, researches, RESEARCHES!  Doctors must LOVE my kind...

I love my doctor and her nursing team.  She has gotten several women I know pregnant (a few in the first try) using the same method I'm going through.  She has been at this for 30 years, I've only been at this for 2 months...

I have been concerned about whether I am receiving treatment that is truly personalized to my body and cycle, or if that comes later once it takes X amount of times without conception.

A friend who is T42 - the "old fashioned way" recently learned that she has a Luteal Phase defect.  She ovulates late, has a short Luteal phase with low progesterone.

We already know that I have a shorter than normal cycle (26 days) and the last two months I've ovulated late (IUI day 15 last month, day 16 this month).  

My doctor uses progesterone level to determine the timing for the IUI.  However I am not on any post-IUI progesterone supplementation and my progesterone has not been tested during my luteal (post-ovulation) phase.  I've had this nagging feeling that my progesterone may not be high enough to support implantation.    I talked to my Mom about my concerns over the weekend and we agreed that if a simple blood test can put my mind at ease, then that's what I should do... I mean, I have become a human pin cushion the last several months, what's one more prick at my request?

Today I called the nurse and told her I need my progesterone tested to ease my nagging concerns.  She said that's fine and I'm going in tomorrow.  She said that testing Luteal progesterone is an 'eventual' test/diagnosis they go through.  I don't think that statement came across right to me.... my first thought is that while I appreciate a good 'process', this month's TTC cycle will cost me approximately $2000 (thanks to the use of the second vial, meds, ultrasounds, bloodwork several times, etc.).  

I'll happily take a $90 blood test to determine if I need a supplement to help with implantation and SUCCESS!