Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thankful to be Single

Monday night was one of those moments that make me feel very alone, the kind of alone that makes me feel sad and resentful that I don't have someone special in my life, a husband.  I was frustrated from work and overwhelmed with starting my IVF injections - I really just wanted someone else to take over and figure it out for me.  But as soon as the pharmacist calmed my fears, I was fine again.  After five days of injections, it's old school for me now.

I'm actually thankful that I'm going to have this baby on my own.  I have too many friends, divorced, that have to deal with terrible custody issues with their ex's.

I have sat in court in support of a friend, G, who's ex was dragging not only G, but G's children into court to testify in a custody hearing.  He didn't have a job, didn't pay child support, had roommates and no room for his children to sleep in when they did visit; he didn't know their teacher's names or what activities they did after school.  G had a great job, a four bedroom house and is one of the most dedicated mom's I know.

Another friend, D, who is quite successful in her career is essentially broke because of how much she has to spend on lawyers because her ex keeps dragging her to court.  He pays no child support which D would be fine with if he would just stop taking her to court.  AND he keeps their kids from taking the medicines they need (something to do with the laws in that state and requiring both parents to consent).  D has to offer comfort when their dad drops out of their lives for a year at a time, misses birthdays or only wants one of the two kids to come visit for Christmas or Summer break.  Even her ex in-laws want their son to leave D alone to raise the kids.

Another friend's kids have called from their father's house requesting that she bring them clean towels and sheets because there were none at their dad's house (someone else uses their beds when they are not there and the sheets had not been changed).  

I am so thankful that I will not be faced with these types of situations that would break my heart as a mother.  I know I will provide a safe, warm, clean and loving home for my child and I will not have to compromise.  

Ideally, I would be with my Mr. Right (not perfect, just right) starting our family together.  However since I've dated MORE than my fair share of Mr. Not-So-Right's I understand how my friends ended up in these terrible custody situations.  I'm thankful I have not settled for having a child with a Mr. Not-So-Right!

I'm still dreading the PIO shots - when the time comes... but I do have my neighbor or friends willing to help me out.  I'll probably take them up on it until I get "comfortable" with stabbing that big-ass needle into muscle on a daily basis.

Monitoring report
I went in Friday morning for monitoring...  the doctor on duty counted 4 follies on each ovary less than 10mm.  I'm continuing with the Gonal-F and HCG and will go back on Monday morning for monitoring again.


  1. That is a huge reason why I'm thankful to be a single mom to be!
    There is no guy in the picture to mess things up!
    I have a cousin who is married with two children but is basically a single mom paying all the bills, caring for the kids all by herself.
    I thank God everytime I think about how much I want to kick his butt.
    I'd much rather do it all myself and know its done right.

    Good luck with the PIO. I've only had to give myself a shot once and it scared me. At least you have help too! My family was not into that part.

    I gave you a blog award on my blog, too.

  2. Wow those stories are pretty frightening. I guess I've heard the good stories of splitting up- both parents working together for the sake of the kids.

  3. I totally agree with you - I'm awful at picking men, apparently - cause they've all sucked! I'm better off by myself with out some idiot trying to take my kids, or my money or my self worth. With all this crap going on with me I've been wanting someone to cuddle with, but I know how I'd feel if it was with my ex. Lonely, and angry. And he'd probably try to cop a feel while I was crying. Ugh, just writing that makes me remember how glad I am to be single in this moment. Grow, follies, grow! Keep us updated :)

  4. Your cycle is going great!!

    I agree that it is better to be single in these kind of situations. I would just hate my life if I had to pay alimony to a lazy guy. I have plenty of friends who are stuck in these arrangements because they settled for losers.

  5. I totally hear you on this lady!!

    And you might find with the PIO injections that you actually wind up being MORE comfortable giving them to yourself. I had a lot of people offer to help, and I totally thought I would take them up on it, but when it came to letting someone else stick that giant needle in my butt? Yeah, there was no way that was going to happen! I was too scared to trust anyone else with such a big task!

  6. Being a bartender I find that a lot of the husbands would rather be in the bar then home with their family. Drives me crazy and makes me thankful at times.

    As far as the PIO shot. Ice your butt really good and you won't feel a thing. Be careful when you take the needle out, sometimes it bleeds. The key is in the icing of the butt! Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type!

    Good luck!

  7. Who ever thought we'd be thankful to be single? I never thought I would be, but as I look at so many of the marriages of my friends (failed and otherwise), I"m so glad I never settled. I'd love to be in a wonderful happy marriage, but if I can't have that, I"d most definitely rather be doing this as a single woman!

    8 follies! Looking forward to seeing your report tomorrow!

  8. I am definitely grateful to be single more often than I'm sad I'm single.

    Your cycle is looking good!

  9. One of the main reasons why I chose the donor sperm route rather than finding a partner to parent with [shared parenting?] is that I saw my sister and her ex [and btw, sometimes they are great before having kids, completely Mr. Right, but then they change..], and how he made her (and thus their son's) life miserable just so... No, I prefer doing it on my own with all the hardships that that brings, but knowing that my child won't have to go through things like what you wrote.


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