Saturday, February 5, 2011

Interesting Twists & Turns

I have so many interesting twists and turns to share this week... a series of short posts.

IVF Drugs
My mail-order IVF drugs (from Pharmacy #1) got caught up in the massive snowstorm earlier this week.  They were to be delivered on Tuesday.  I had to call the pharmacy to track down the tracking number and figure out when they were to arrive.  Of course the drugs were scheduled to be delivered two days late, on a day I had to be downtown for work (I work from home most days).

Thankfully a note on the door with a screenshot of the FedEx tracking information successfully replaced my in person signature and they left my box for me by the side door when I finally got home at 9pm Thursday, with sleet all over the box. At least there was no issue with the ice packs melting during the delay!

The nurse also clarified that I will not start my Lupron until I start Stims so I can wait to order that (from Pharmacy #4) in another week or two.

Pre-IVF Cycle Ovulation

Finally on CD16, Thursday, I got a smiley face on my OPK... good thing as I was going to have to buy a new pack of OPKs that day.

Fortune Cookie
This morning I was cleaning up my kitchen to make room to organize all of my drugs for IVF#2.  I found a fortune cookie that I had set aside months ago sitting next to all of my former set of IVF drugs and vitamins.  For some reason I just never got around to opening it.

Today I opened it, and it read: A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.  

I find this quite appropriate as I have reminded myself over and over that this TTC process is about learning the lesson of patience.

Work Stress
I still need to write a post about "Coming Out" to my leadership, peers and partners about my infertility struggles.  I've been doing that over the last few weeks as I continue to explain to leadership that the amount of work on my plate (allocated 250%) has to let up; the doctor mandates I reduce my stress, which is accentuated due to the IVF hormones.

Anyway, I've been managing two projects each which require 100% of a resource (me), because we have not been given the green light to replace the resource we let go in December (due to performance issues).  Plus I manage half of the project portfolio - this means I'm ultimately responsible for 8 - 10 other projects that other people are managing; I have responsibility that these projects are on track, act as the point of escalation to remove road blocks, etc.  I've been so busy for months that it's nearly impossible to get anything done because I'm constantly pulled into different directions simultaneously.  There are a number times each week that I'm supposed to be in 4 different meetings at the same time...

Random Run-In Turned Networking
I was out for tapas & drinks with my business partners Thursday night.  While walking from the office to the restaurant I found myself thinking of someone I had been meaning to connect with.  W is a sharp guy that I recruited to work for me several years ago.  He didn't realize his potential so I coached him into developing the confidence he needed to realize he could be a great leader in the division.  I told him, as I watched his confidence and responsibility grow, that one day I'd end up working for him.

Anyway, when I walked in the door I was headed to my business partners and I hear my name.  It's W and a group of people from that division.  Coincidence?  I don't think so... I had a chance to talk to him depth that evening and talk about opportunities back in his division.  I told him I was ready to come work for him, just as I predicted years ago when he worked for me.  And there sounds like there may be opportunities opening up...  When I got home Thursday night I was really feeling better about the possibility of a new opportunity going back to doing something I really enjoy!  I still am excited about this possibility...

Company Announces Shut Down of Business (Product) I Support
Thursday & Friday of this week I was in the office with local business partners, as well as several who flew in for our all day working sessions.  Friday at lunch time the entire business division was called together for an announcement that our company, due to strategic business decisions to get back to fundamentals, would be exiting our business, aka our product is being sunset.

It's strange to describe that while it was shocking and disheartening for my partners, I felt such a great sense of relief!  My workload and all the related stress was no longer important or urgent.  The company is committed to redeploying each person into other roles, once we go through the shut down of operations; I do believe that everyone will still have jobs, unless they elect to leave the company.

My division has assured they can absorb me and my team into new assignments supporting other products/services.  This is reassuring, I still have a job.  But I also want to use this time to try to find a different role, like the one I mentioned above working for W.

I've expressed to my leadership that I prefer to stay on and help with the assessment and execution of what it will take to properly shut down this business area.  So far, it sounds like I'll get my wish. We start this process on Monday.  This also gives me time to network and work out potential other opportunities.

Random Meeting of Another SMC
This is the strangest and most inspiring part of this series of stories that make up my week...  The boss of my senior business partner (I'll call her D), who I have met once before, was in the room helping the team absorb the enormity of the announcement about the business and their jobs.  When the call ended, you could cut the silence in the room with a knife, and there were probably 40+ people in the room.

D began to speak, her voice was full of emotion as she reassured the team that they have done a tremendous job over the years and that this decision is not a reflection of their work but of a broader-arching strategy based on the current economic climate.  She went on but I won't share that level of detail here.  Many in the room had eyes shimmering with unshed tears as D spoke, including me.

After the meeting ended, everyone lingered in the room to talk as they continued to absorb the news.   I cancelled the remainder of my all day working session as it was clear that project would be cancelled (and many of us went out for drinks mid-afternoon).

D and I spoke for a moment and I mentioned that hearing the emotion in her voice choked me up, but I'm hormonal, etc.  The topic of my IVF came up (since I'm being open about it at work now).  She said she went through infertility treatments about 6 years ago so she understands completely.  She went on to talk about how she ended up adopting and it was the best decision she's ever made; how her children are meant to be her children.  I told her I'm single and doing this on my own, and that it's my impression that adoption is more challenging for a single woman.

I can't describe the look that washed over her face, but I wont forget it.  It was then that she said she is also single.  She went through all of the process and steps as a SMC.  I had no idea.  She showed me pictures of her 4 and 6 year old gorgeous, smiling children she adopted from Guatemala.

So there at the strangest and most bitter-sweet random time possible, I connected with another SMC.  We're going to get together once the dust settles.

It was a strange yet inspiring week!  And I feel completely at peace for the first time in a long time.

Lastly - The Versatile Blogger
Thanks to SurlyMama for the nod for the Virtual Blogger award.  I'm going to link back to my post from October when I previously received the award.  And again, I'm sorry your first cycle didn't work AND that it left a cyst that forces you to sit out this month.  Mother Nature can be very cruel.


  1. Gosh! You've been busy. I am glad that it looks like your stress level will be going down. That is a very good thing. It's really interesting where life's "twists and turns" can tak us.

  2. I like these twists and turns! Lots of things happening to bring new opportunities into your life and reduce your stress.
    I'm glad you have clear instructions now on your meds, and that the snowstorm didn't ruin any timing for this cycle!
    I also have the perception that adoption may be more difficult for single women, but I checked out an NZ website a while back and at least they don't exclude single people from applying (I was certain they would due to the old fashioned beliefs of what constitutes a "family" that abound here). Nice to know that we have options :)

  3. It's always good to hear your news - I was also worried that the storm would disrupt my shipments!

  4. What a crazy week but I love that you connected with another SMC!! How awesome!

  5. Wow meeting another SMC that was cool. You never know anyone by just looking at them!!!

  6. Wow- what a week! It sounds like that fortune cookie will come true for so many parts of your life. Cheering for you!

  7. I think I might understand why you want to be a SMC, but I am not sure. I am a single mother, too, but not by choice. I would not wish this on any woman or any child. The expectations are seriously deep! It might be more difficult than some people think, although children are a wonderful blessing! Would you be willing to help other single mothers who are not single by choice because there are a lot of us struggling out here? The time, the talents, and the treasures of these other single mothers that I have met are stretched to inhumane proportions!

  8. Lamehousewife, I'm not sure what you are asking? I asked for some Twitter feedback and the consensus was that your request sounds like some kind of spam/scam? I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying that your point (and/or request) is unclear.

    My decision to become a SMC is not in question, because I am choosing to become a single mom. I do not choose to be single (although I have elected not to marry Mr. Not-So-Right just to have a baby), but i do choose to be a mom!

    I have volunteered with children, acted as a Guardian Ad Litem (represented children's needs in court), primarily for the children of single mom's. Helping these children was rewarding but never remotely gave me the opportunity to be a mother.

  9. Lamehousewife it sounds like you are looking for a babysitter or something. Life is a struggle in its own ways for every body. We try not to judge each other but just to offer support. A babysitter or even a guaridan ad litem is no subsititute to being a mother.


Unfortunately due to an overabundance of recent spam I have turned off Anonymous commenting.