First, thank you for all of your encouragement and support from my dark day. All of your comments were wonderful and well received; some of you were very perceptive as well. I've been wanting to post since then to let everyone know that I've been better (it was a bad day) but I have not had the words after exposing myself so fully... and then my laptop crashed (fixed today). Those who follow me on Twitter have the privy of knowing things are improving and that day was just my "crash" after my failed IVF on top of 6 failed IUI's, coming off of 8 months of hormones, the holidays and going into the new year where I will turn 40!
I did start seeing the IF shrink again and have started taking Xanax 3x's a day... WOW... it takes the edge off the terrible anxiety I was feeling AND I sleep well at night without any other drugs!
My WTF appointment with my RE is on Monday (yes my fertile friends who follow my blog, WTF means what you think it means). I've not spent too much time prepping for it. What do I ask?
- What have you learned about my ability to conceive after 6 IUI's and 1 IVF?
- What are the leading causes of my inability to conceive? How do we address this?
- What could have been done to improve the number/quality of eggs/embryos from my IVF?
- Will I be able to have a child with my own eggs?
- When can I do another IVF? What will we do differently? What are my chances for success?
What should I add to the list? Will Dr. T have the answers?
It's not been a full month since my IVF BFN but this break has seemed to last an eternity. I've actually enjoyed not counting my cycle days, no injections or suppositories (no alarm going off multiple times daily to remind me to medicate). But I don't enjoy knowing it's a month where I've "wasted" an egg and I have no chance at pregnancy.
Sorry friends, for being a bad blogger. I think the lack of blogging goes along with the TTC break. I'm hoping my break will end next week (AF is due a few days after the WTF appointment).