PAIL

PAIL
Elphaba over at Alice in Diaperland started a conversation last week about the scars of infertility, even after defeating IF.  She talked about the fact that she can't relate to the fertile mommy bloggers even though she is now a mommy herself.  She asked for feedback from readers, and boy did she get it, about feeling on the edge of a community, being stuck between the ALI community and the fertile mommy's.

Many from the ALI community are hesitant to participate in ICLW after getting pregnant, knowing how it feels to be in the throws of the battle and clicking on an infertility blog that is all about pregnancy or parenting.  OUCH!  It hurts to put it mildly.

I know, I am guilty of unfollowing bloggers who moved on while I was still crushed and wondering how I would cope with never being able to conceive.  It wasn't personal, it was self-preservation.

Long story short, Elphaba has created a new community, an extension of the ALI community, for women who have defeated infertility, at least briefly.  Click over to PAIL, Parenting/Pregnant After Infertility and/or Loss to read more and join the community.  As you can see, it's catching on quick.  Then add the button to your own blog!

And a special thanks to Elphaba for starting the conversation and moving so fast to put this new community together!!

Around the blogsphere...

There are so many people cycling now, or getting ready to cycle.  I hope to see a lot of BFP's in the near future!!  A special shout out to My Fertility Blog on her long-awaited FET tomorrow, a special person who I had the pleasure to meet and share dinner with back in Colorado.

Super Congratulations go out to Miss Ohkay on finally getting her sweet and precious little girl through international adoption (it was a long, difficult wait)... All if the Twitter IF community was stalking her on Sunday while she was at the airport waiting on the plane.  Also, I'm so glad that you are back home with her (after being hospitalized 2 days for illness).  So exciting!!

Congrats to several new prego's for your recent BFP's and excellent betas!!!
Jen at Me, Myself and Infertility - a fellow SMC
Newbie at Infertile in the City - a CCR.M success
Mo at Life and Love in the Petri Dish - another CCR.M success

Also, please send your love & prayers over to Mo at Mommy Odyssey in the wake of her heartbreaking loss of her baby boy.

I left so many of you out, it's impossible to mention everyone... but I'm following along and rooting for each of you!

Mark Your Calendars - NIAW
Resolve has announced the dates for this year's National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW).  Mark your calendars for April 22 - 28 and think about how you will support along with the theme of "Don't Ignore Infertility".

It's a....

Courtesy of Google Images

It's a girl!  I'm having a baby girl!!!  A daughter.  I'm overjoyed!  After the scan I had this peaceful feeling of calm, I realized that I felt truly happy for the first time in a very long time.  I guess it (finally) all became real.  I'm really pregnant and I'm expecting a healthy baby girl. 

The scan itself went great, she's measuring on track and everything looks good.  That combined with my 2nd Trimester bloodwork continues to keep me in the low risk category - for a high risk patient.  I will have another detailed scan at 24w, where they will take a close look at the development of her heart.  

I love being able to refer to 'she' & 'her' now, rather than 'it' or 'the baby'.

Here she is!! 18w3d

My best buddy, J, came with me to the scan yesterday.  He has never seen a pregnancy ultrasound, although he's had several of his own stomach due to gastrointestinal problems that landed him in the hospital for a couple of weeks last year.  

J is a lifelong athlete with an interest in the human body so he was enthralled watching the screen, pointing things out and asking the tech lots of questions.

We were talking about finding out, and J being there.  I said something along the lines of J being able to tell baby girl that Uncle J got to see her girl parts for the first time.  The room was silent before we all started cracking up, the ultrasound tech included, when I realized how pervy that had just sounded.  J was like, I didn't see anything!  Give me a break, I just found out I'm expecting a baby girl, my head wasn't working properly!  You know what I meant!

I have the funniest ultrasounds.

And of course, I did a little shopping for baby girl yesterday!  I'll have to take some pictures of the goods to share in another post.

17w4d - In Bullets

So I want to take the opportunity to record a little bit of the standard stuff about pregnancy... feel free to skip posts like these.


Size of baby 

• Baby is currently between the size of an Onion & Sweet Potato 

Total Weight Gain 

• +1 lb (or if you count the weight I dropped until recently, I'm up 6lbs)
• It's crazy, I know... but remember I started about 50lbs overweight

Current symptoms

• Food aversions, lack of appetite
• "Morning" sickness - I'm still getting sick at least once a day, and retch several other times during the day
• Constipation (OMG!  I'm so glad I don't deal with this in my non-pregnant life... it can be miserable at times)
• Heartburn - I now keep 2 bottles of Tums handy; one in the kitchen and the other on my nightstand

Maternity Clothes

• I'm wearing maternity jeans (wow, the best invention ever) and tops
• Since I work from home I'm also wearing a lot of my regular yoga pants/t-shirts
• I can still wear my regular jeans but they are not comfortable; when I go into the office I usually put on a non-maternity dress or skirt (very forgiving)
• I'm running into a problem with maternity sizing for dress pants so I have not bought any.  The XL are a bit snug in the thighs/butt... but the 1x absolutely swims on me, hence wearing my dresses/skirts to the office.

Sleep

• I get up around 2am & 5:30am to use the bathroom every night
• I have been using Tylenol PM (OB approved) to sleep many nights
• I'm sleeping great, unassisted, on nights after I workout

Cravings (Tolerances)

• Carbs - Pasta, cereal, pizza, bread/grilled cheese
• Fruit - Apples, Bananas
• SWEETS

Fitness

• After being on exercise restriction since starting my stims in mid-October, I'm finally working out again
• I'm working with my trainer again (prenatal certified & a mom of young kids)!!  The first few workouts I fatigued greatly & quickly but that seems to be improving. 
• Workouts help get things moving in the constipation department, however during the workout it's the gas that kicks in first (my poor trainer)

Gender

• My scan is on Monday!!  I can't wait to find out!

Movement

• Nothing decipherable at this time

Recent/Upcoming Milestones

• Recent - For the first time since Sept/October, I'm no longer getting blood draws at least 1x a week
• Recent - I'm amazed at how anti-climatic OB appointments are.  It's just talk, really.  No more dropping my pants for Wandy on a regular basis
• Upcoming - Ultrasound on Monday including anatomy scan!!

Doppler

I have not rented or bought a doppler.  At my 13week OB appointment, the nurse couldn't even pick up the heartbeat on the doppler and I had to have another ultrasound (oh darn).

I really didn't want to become someone who needs a home doppler for nightly reassurance... primarily because I have feared I'd use it wrong, not get the heartbeat and really freak myself out!!!

Two weeks ago, halfway between OB appointments, I was at the point that I needed to hear the heartbeat.  I needed to know everything was okay in there (the continued "morning" sickness and constipation isn't enough).  I remember that my nurse had said I could drop in and ask for her for a doppler check if I ever needed to hear the baby.  Since I live about 6 blocks from my OB's office, I thought this was a great option!  So off I went!

My nurse was down at their other office but another nurse checked me (no one even asked my name!) and there was the heartbeat, nice and strong.  I was so happy for that reassurance that I didn't even ask what the heart rate was.

Today was my 16 week OB appointment (at 16w5d) and the only thing I was focused on was getting to hear the baby's heartbeat.  It was a healthy 168!

I mentioned to my OB that I had stopped in a couple of weeks ago to hear the heartbeat.  She said that was fine... and I'm welcome to stop in as often as I need, even every week, if that's what I need!

I'm looking forward to feeling the baby's movements, hopefully within the next few weeks... until then, I see weekly walks over to my OB's office in my future.