So I was driving my car tonight on my way to pick up Thai food and suddenly knew I was going to puke! Thankfully I still had some plastic bags nearby that I used as "poop bags" when I took the dogs to Florida over the holidays. I grabbed a bag and sure enough, puked while driving. I know that can't be safe, but my eyes never left the road! I am now wearing this incident like a 'badge of honor'... my funniest pregnancy puke story to date!
I, like many others in this situation before me, am struggling with the changes I need to make to my blog. I've watched many others struggle with this after becoming pregnant after infertility. There is a need to balance the desire to chronicle this new world of pregnancy while being sensitive to the feelings of so many who are still in the trenches of the fight with infertility. I will continue to try to maintain this balance but I do understand if anyone still struggling is unable to read my posts right now, I wont forget how hard it was to read some posts from those who had found success. I did unfollow some bloggers because it was too difficult to read about their exciting new developments when I was going through disappointment after disappointment; I did check their blogs on my own time, when I felt strong enough to read their developments. If anyone needs to stop reading or unfollow me, believe me, I understand.
The other type of balance I am working on is balancing between my fear/thoughts that something will happen vs. positivity/embracing my pregnancy. I don't like to talk about the fear/negative things although the thoughts are with me for fear of jinxing myself. Unless that changes, I wont be writing about my fears anytime soon. I do try to acknowledge the negative thoughts when they come and replace them with positive thoughts, like imagine that everything goes right.
"Morning" sickness kicked in at 7 weeks. I describe the feeling as having a hangover all day, without having the party the night before. I don't puke often. Some days I don't puke at all, other days I'll puke 2 or 3 times, today was a 3x's kind of day. I don't mind the puking. The worst part is brushing my teeth. I don't feel like I've done my teeth justice in weeks. I will gag/puke more often than not when brushing my teeth which in turn makes you want to brush your teeth, but the last thing I want to do is put that toothbrush near my mouth again.
I am thankful for every molecule of energy this baby has drained from me even though I look forward to the day when I get the 'burst of energy' come second trimester. I embrace the non-party all-day everyday hangover as it's a reminder that my body is doing miraculous things. I am thankful for every gag and puke episode as it reassures me that my body is doing what it needs to to support my little one.
I am 11weeks, 5days today. Tomorrow I meet my MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist), aka "high risk doctor" and will have my NT scan. My good friend LH asked me today if I wanted her to come with me. I had not thought about not going alone, but I embraced her offer to go with me. I love my friends!