Interesting Pregnancy Observations

**Warning:  This is definitely not a post I would have chosen to read while still on the TTC roller coaster**

I am currently 23weeks 3 days along.  Just a few more days until viability!  While infertility is the biggest emotional challenge I have ever experienced (and not physically pleasant either), pregnancy has certainly been a bit physically challenging so far.  Here are a few pregnancy observations I would like to preserve, and share with those who are curious.

Before I go there... I just wanted to update you on the nickname I've recently been calling Baby Girl.  I've never been one to create nicknames, but Baby Girl gets kind of long to type out.  I thought about shortening it to BG but then I kept seeing it as BuG.  So I've been referring to her (quietly until now) as BuG.  Note, there is absolutely no relationship to this nickname and her real name!

**Please read the tone of this post as very 'tongue in cheek'**

Heartburn/Acid Reflux - I have finally learned what Acid Reflux really is... I had NO idea!!  I can deal with the heartburn, but waking up to an in process reflex of swallowing back down the small amount of bile that I just threw up in my mouth mid REM cycle is a completely new experience... and one I hope goes away immediately after BuG arrives safely this summer.

Food Aversions - People frequently ask me what I am craving.  I really don't think I actually crave anything... I still eat what I believe I can tolerate (and sometimes I'm still wrong about what's tolerable - SURPRISE!).  Apparently BuG really doesn't like Chicken!  I've given up trying to eat chicken at this point.

Puking - While the worst of the "morning" sickness dissipated by about 18 weeks, it's not completely gone.  I still have days when I need to take zofran.  And as a consistent rule of thumb, all it takes for me to get sick is to tell someone how much better I've been feeling... within a matter of a few hours of these conversations you can put money on the fact I will be sick.  It never fails!

Poop - I have definitely experienced some of the worst constipation ever during pregnancy (this is relative since I rarely ever had that problem previously)... but lately I fluctuate between the two extremes.  Enough said.

Headache - I've been having mild headaches for the last few weeks, so mild that I never mentioned them to anyone, it's just a minor annoyance.  Yesterday that headache turned into a monster!  And it continues.  I don't know if it's related to allergies, I think it might be even though my sinuses are being kind to me lately.

Breakouts - A few weeks ago my skin changed from the beautiful glow of pregnancy to the breakouts of pregnancy.  Surprisingly I'm accepting of my now red, blotchy face... it is what it is.

Sleep/Energy - I know it will be much worse when my little BuG gets here, but sleeping sucks!  I will generally sleep for a few hours, until my 2am bathroom break, and then I'm awake most of the night thereafter.  If I'm lucky I'll dose off and on, but there is no quality to my sleep after 2am.  I am still using doctor recommended Tylenol PM fairly regularly... my sleep is even worse on the nights I don't use it.  Obviously, this really impacts my overall energy during the day.  My energy is generally low, but after some bad nights it's all I can do to make it through the day. My house is suffering the effects of this, dishes pile up, laundry doesn't get put away, the floors are dirty and general clutter exists everywhere (I hate clutter).

Weight Gain - Wow!  My weight has skyrocketed!  Given I was under my pre pregnancy weight until I was 17 weeks, I am now up 15lbs from my pre pregnancy weight in the 6 weeks since then.  How did that happen?  I don't eat a lot, although the nutrition I do eat varies (sometimes healthy, sometimes not so much - again, it's about tolerance).  And I'm still throwing up my meals at least a few times a week.

Stranger Comments - I experienced a milestone this weekend.  A stranger commented about my pregnancy out of the blue!  This means I actually look pregnant, not just fat!  So I bought a car from him... (it was the sales guy at the Honda dealership)

Movement - While I am feeling BuG move, it's never enough.  I still really only feel her when I'm laying down and paying attention.  I try not to freak out... but I still question myself - is that really the BuG I'm feeling?  Some women are not only feeling their babies more/frequently earlier than me, they are seeing the movement and can feel it on the outside.  I somehow keep reassuring myself that I am feeling the BuG and there is no reason to freak myself out.

Fear - It's still there, every day.  But as I've said before, I can't go there.  I'll write a post about it once my BuG is safely here.

All of that said I love every minute!  And in the grand scheme of pregnancy, things are going really well for me!!!  I still can't believe it's real and that my Baby Girl is growing inside me... and she'll be here in about 16 weeks!

17w4d - In Bullets

So I want to take the opportunity to record a little bit of the standard stuff about pregnancy... feel free to skip posts like these.


Size of baby 

• Baby is currently between the size of an Onion & Sweet Potato 

Total Weight Gain 

• +1 lb (or if you count the weight I dropped until recently, I'm up 6lbs)
• It's crazy, I know... but remember I started about 50lbs overweight

Current symptoms

• Food aversions, lack of appetite
• "Morning" sickness - I'm still getting sick at least once a day, and retch several other times during the day
• Constipation (OMG!  I'm so glad I don't deal with this in my non-pregnant life... it can be miserable at times)
• Heartburn - I now keep 2 bottles of Tums handy; one in the kitchen and the other on my nightstand

Maternity Clothes

• I'm wearing maternity jeans (wow, the best invention ever) and tops
• Since I work from home I'm also wearing a lot of my regular yoga pants/t-shirts
• I can still wear my regular jeans but they are not comfortable; when I go into the office I usually put on a non-maternity dress or skirt (very forgiving)
• I'm running into a problem with maternity sizing for dress pants so I have not bought any.  The XL are a bit snug in the thighs/butt... but the 1x absolutely swims on me, hence wearing my dresses/skirts to the office.

Sleep

• I get up around 2am & 5:30am to use the bathroom every night
• I have been using Tylenol PM (OB approved) to sleep many nights
• I'm sleeping great, unassisted, on nights after I workout

Cravings (Tolerances)

• Carbs - Pasta, cereal, pizza, bread/grilled cheese
• Fruit - Apples, Bananas
• SWEETS

Fitness

• After being on exercise restriction since starting my stims in mid-October, I'm finally working out again
• I'm working with my trainer again (prenatal certified & a mom of young kids)!!  The first few workouts I fatigued greatly & quickly but that seems to be improving. 
• Workouts help get things moving in the constipation department, however during the workout it's the gas that kicks in first (my poor trainer)

Gender

• My scan is on Monday!!  I can't wait to find out!

Movement

• Nothing decipherable at this time

Recent/Upcoming Milestones

• Recent - For the first time since Sept/October, I'm no longer getting blood draws at least 1x a week
• Recent - I'm amazed at how anti-climatic OB appointments are.  It's just talk, really.  No more dropping my pants for Wandy on a regular basis
• Upcoming - Ultrasound on Monday including anatomy scan!!

The Hangover (and Balance)

**Pregnancy discussed**

So I was driving my car tonight on my way to pick up Thai food and suddenly knew I was going to puke!  Thankfully I still had some plastic bags nearby that I used as "poop bags" when I took the dogs to Florida over the holidays.  I grabbed a bag and sure enough, puked while driving.  I know that can't be safe, but my eyes never left the road!  I am now wearing this incident like a 'badge of honor'...  my funniest pregnancy puke story to date!

I, like many others in this situation before me, am struggling with the changes I need to make to my blog.  I've watched many others struggle with this after becoming pregnant after infertility.  There is a need to balance the desire to chronicle this new world of pregnancy while being sensitive to the feelings of so many who are still in the trenches of the fight with infertility.  I will continue to try to maintain this balance but I do understand if anyone still struggling is unable to read my posts right now, I wont forget how hard it was to read some posts from those who had found success.  I did unfollow some bloggers because it was too difficult to read about their exciting new developments when I was going through disappointment after disappointment; I did check their blogs on my own time, when I felt strong enough to read their developments.  If anyone needs to stop reading or unfollow me, believe me, I understand.

The other type of balance I am working on is balancing between my fear/thoughts that something will happen vs. positivity/embracing my pregnancy.  I don't like to talk about the fear/negative things although the thoughts are with me for fear of jinxing myself.  Unless that changes, I wont be writing about my fears anytime soon.  I do try to acknowledge the negative thoughts when they come and replace them with positive thoughts, like imagine that everything goes right.


"Morning" sickness kicked in at 7 weeks.  I describe the feeling as having a hangover all day, without having the party the night before.  I don't puke often.  Some days I don't puke at all, other days I'll puke 2 or 3 times, today was a 3x's kind of day.    I don't mind the puking.  The worst part is brushing my teeth.  I don't feel like I've done my teeth justice in weeks.  I will gag/puke more often than not when brushing my teeth which in turn makes you want to brush your teeth, but the last thing I want to do is put that toothbrush near my mouth again.


I am thankful for every molecule of energy this baby has drained from me even though I look forward to the day when I get the 'burst of energy' come second trimester.  I embrace the non-party all-day everyday hangover as it's a reminder that my body is doing miraculous things.  I am thankful for every gag and puke episode as it reassures me that my body is doing what it needs to to support my little one.

I am 11weeks, 5days today.  Tomorrow I meet my MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist), aka "high risk doctor" and will have my NT scan.  My good friend LH asked me today if I wanted her to come with me.  I had not thought about not going alone, but I embraced her offer to go with me.  I love my friends!

8w3d

*Pregnancy Discussed*

Today I had another ultrasound to see the baby.  I have been nervous for days about the scan.  The only thing that has been reassuring is that "morning sickness" kicked in at 7 weeks.  And then I threw up (for the second time) last night, so I was reassured that things must be progressing with baby - so I slept great (with incredible dreams).

At my 6w3d ultrasound I didn't see anything but a tiny blob.  I couldn't see (or hear) the heartbeat... I couldn't make anything out.  But the doctor saw what she needed to and that was enough for me.

Today's scan was amazing!  As soon as Wandy was in place, I saw the baby.  And it was a REAL baby!  And I immediately saw the heart beating.  And then I heard the heartbeat.  170bpm.  It wasn't moving around but its right arm was waiving.  I saw several angles including the back (spine developing) and side.  I honestly believe that the only ultrasound you can really make out is your own.  Or maybe because I saw it live on the screen, it's easier for me to make it out in the picture now.

Morning Sickness   I won't complain about it.  Tied in with the fatigue it makes me feel "off" most of the day.  But it is also reassuring.  On the days it's lighter, I tend to worry a little (hence, my good night of sleep after throwing up last night).  I also have a crappy appetite.  Nothing sounds appealing although I find myself wanting a burger fairly frequently.  But I also have a sweet tooth now, which is unusual for me.

My Refrigerator  It finally bit the dust.  It's been threatening since early this summer but it's been doing well the last month or two.  This weekend I realized that it is not nearly as cold as it needs to be.  I bought a thermometer and it was only 55 in the fridge (the freezer is fine).  I had the repair guy out today and he couldn't find anything wrong other than cleaning the coils.  That didn't do it - so I know I need to replace it (and had to throw just about everything out).  I went to Home Depot tonight and found one that I want that fits my awkward (limited) space.  It's more than I want to spend and can't be delivered until after Christmas.

I'm going to look a little more - since I'm going to see my family for Christmas, I can live without it until then but it makes my already difficult to please appetite even more difficult, as I can't keep milk, OJ, cheese, etc.  Cereal & OJ has been a staple...  oh well.

Hormones   My estrogen is good so I get to decrease my patches to 1 every other day (rather than 2).  My progesterone is fine but they are not decreasing anything just yet... still taking the 3x/day suppositories.

OB   My first OB appointment is tomorrow.  I don't know what to expect, so we'll see!

I'm Glad I Asked!

Let this be a lesson to anyone reading who is TTC....  ask for what you need!


The result of my progesterone test today was 11.5; the nurse stated it's a "little low" (the doctor likes to see it over 15).  I have started a supplement called Crinone, once a day (thanks for the feedback on the best supplement, Shannon, it helped me make the decision easy).  


Mom wanted to know what the progesterone means, here's what I told her:  


The insert says:  The progesterone will help prepare the lining of your uterus so that it is ready to receive and nourish a fertilized egg.  If pregnancy occurs, the suppliment may be used for 10 - 12 weeks until production of progesterone by the placenta is adequate.


Now to continue with the wonderful 2ww.