Yesterday I made an appointment to talk to the DE coordinator at my RE office, along with the Finance coordinator. The appointment is April 8th. For me, this is just initial information, not a decision.
WTF Appointment Planning
My WTF appointment with Dr. T is on April 13. I have questions in my head and I need to start writing them down. Here are a few... just to get them written down:
- What happened this time?
- The embryos were moving into the Morela stage on Day 3 at transfer, given this is there really possibly a problem with the quality of my eggs (embryos)?
- If we were to do IVF again (using my own eggs), what would we do differently? How can we get more of my own eggs?
I have questionably had two brief chemical pregnancies (IUI #6 and IVF #2), meaning a positive HPT (not a trigger false positive), then negative HPT and negative Betas...
- How do we know the problem is not with my uterus, an inability to support implantation/growth?
- What testing can we do to feel confident the problem is not with my uterus, especially if I decide to use donor eggs $$$?
Second Opinion
While I love Dr. T I do think it's time to get an opinion from someone else. It doesn't have to be someone local... so I actually have no clue who to schedule a second opinion with... I've not done much research on this topic.
This is when I wish I had someone to share the burden with, someone to tell me where to go, what to do... or just to have someone as invested in this as I am to talk through it with.
Business Travel
It's going to be a crazy week, heading out West Monday for a packed schedule of work meetings and "team building" events... I am NOT looking forward to the socializing with people I barely know as the questions: Are you married? Do you have kids? are always asked (over and over given there will be 50 or so collegues around over the course of the week). I really had hoped I would be trying to schedule my first ultrasound around my travel schedule...
Any ideas on clever responses (that are also politically correct, given these are business contacts)? My new response (to those who know my IF struggles) is that I gave this company my best fertile years. Probably not the best response when talking with casual acquaintances.
Personal Travel
I get home Thursday night and get back on a plane Friday to head to see the family in Florida, for a mini reunion. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and catching up with a couple of friends. Then back home Monday afternoon.
My dogs are sitting on either side of me at this moment but I miss them already... I hate leaving them for a week!
Weight Watchers
I decided against the 'extreme' diet due to all of the unknown implications to my TTC efforts. I really just wanted to see fast results based on my efforts, given I've not seen results from all of my TTC efforts over the last year. But instead I signed up for Weight Watchers.
Slow & Steady Wins the Race, right? If it doesn't, then I know my heart will never recover...
I can relate.
ReplyDeleteMy first RE is very well-known in our state and he is quite aggressive.. I decided to get a second opinion because I just wanted to see if another RE has different perspective. The first RE was too aggressive so my follicles were not growing at the same pace. My second RE also checked for implantation by doing an endometrial biopsy and hystercospy (sp?). I am still in the 2ww but I am more impressed with my current RE. Although the 1st RE is more popular and well-known, I didn't think my case was ideal for him or what he was used to dealing with.
I scheduled second opinion with 2 local REs and CCRM but cancelled after meeting with my current RE... She was realistic in what she can do and gave me a balanced perspective. I wasn't looking for someone to paint a rosy picture for me because I know the age factor is major.
I look forward to reading more about your research on donor eggs. So much of what you wrote in this post resonates with me. The traveling for work and answering all the questions others welcome and take so lightly, the desire to share all this heaviness with someone and the wondering about the RE with whom you've placed all your hopes and dreams.
ReplyDeleteFor what its worth, I have had the opportunity of a couple second opinions. I have found them all to be helpful - and have learned more about the process from each. I highly recommend second opinions! A doc doing a second opinion is more likely to look at the facts, and try to think about your situation completely dispassionately / from a fresh perspective, than the doc does - who has known you from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is that - if you have not already done so - you go and get a copy of your notes - they may charge you $25 or so, but I think it is money well spent. I know when I dealt with my Dr Uncommunicative, I discovered a whole lot I was never told at appointments - even when I had asked!. This way you can scour the notes to find any further unturned stones.
I would definitely see what tests could be done on your uterus, also are there any tests that can be done on your eggs. Further - could it be that your eggs are fine - Could it be that your eggs need a different protocol in the petri dish - perhaps a different lab?
As for what to say to people - I have no idea. I suppose it depends how much you like them and want them to know. When people have asked me what's up with me - I have simply shared that "I have had a lot going on recently what with surgery a couple months ago - and being on medication".
Email me if you want the info on the donor egg group. I found it pretty interesting. I hope you enjoy some of your traveling.
ReplyDeleteSecond opinions are usually a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI have joined WW as well for 2 reasons: 1) to help when I get to the TTC phase and 2) I am going on a trip to Europe in Sept - I want to look good in those photos! If you want/need a WW buddy let me know!
You sound really on top of things as far as a game plan and considering options. I am impressed with your thinking process! A second opinion doesn't seem like it could hurt. Sending good wishes and hope some good information emerges in the near future.
ReplyDeleteHope you don't have to endure too many polite conversations with strangers - maybe you can talk about the weather lol. I remember being 22 and some people being surprised I did not have a family. Boy would they be shocked now!
ReplyDeleteSome thoughts:
ReplyDelete1. If you are considering DE, a serious conversation about the quality of your embryos produced from IVF is in order. Rate of growth, cell size, fragmentation, etc.
2. I don't know that possible chem pgs point to implantation problems so much as embryo quality problems, but certainly worth asking about. I've had a number of those "questionable" results on HPTs and honestly wrote them off as nothing other than me wanting to see something or really long-lasting Ovidrel; the one I consider to be a probable chemical pg resulted in a MASSIVE bleeding episode at 9dpo, despite a normal progesterone level and a ton of progesterone support, and that was the only way my RE could interpet that situation.
3. I found a second opinion very useful. And I still stayed with my RE. I know you're considering out of state: Advanced Fertility of Chicago has a great donor egg program. I didn't choose it in the end, for a number of reasons, but I was impressed overall.
I know exactly where you are coming from...with 3 failed IVFs behind me, I too am considering donor eggs.
ReplyDeleteI am looking into RBA in Georgia. They do frozen donor eggs so you don't have to sync your cycle up to a donor and they have CRAZY good success rates.
I am also looking into CYN Fertility in NY. AWESOME prices and I like the idea of a fresh cycle and keeping all the eggs.
BUT and here is the GIANT BUT...I scheduled a second opinion (well for me it would be a third) with the Cooper's Institute in NJ about continuing to cycle with my own eggs.
And after my consult with the Cooper's Institute I have decided to give my own eggs another shot.
So get that second opinion. It lets you cover all the bases and hey, it might even give your eggs the 2nd chance they need!
HUGS!!
Oh BB, I am just gutted to read that your IVF#2 has failed. I'm so very sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would help, but yes, second opinions are alway a good idea. Good luck with everything.
ReplyDeleteAs for those damn social questions...I dread them myself. I never feel I answer well because somehow, even though I know to expect them, they always catch me off guard. You could try the hearty laugh and the "God no!" exclamation response. That tends to shut people up without being aggressive, and leaves them unsure what to make of it. I usually tend to say "no" and move straight on to a returned question. Such as "No, how about you?" and then ask lots of follow-up questions so that they end up talking about themselves and forget to ask you more intrusive personal questions. Good luck.
Thanks for your comment on my blog, finding women like you out there who truly understand my dreams, hopes, losses and fears has been incredible. And yes, it is hard to describe the bond that can develop on line between strangers around the world. I am so very grateful that I stumbled onto that link on the Happiness Project that led me here! Take care and I'll visit again soon (the outback always makes for great war stories!) xx