First, thank you for all of your encouragement and support from my dark day. All of your comments were wonderful and well received; some of you were very perceptive as well. I've been wanting to post since then to let everyone know that I've been better (it was a bad day) but I have not had the words after exposing myself so fully... and then my laptop crashed (fixed today). Those who follow me on Twitter have the privy of knowing things are improving and that day was just my "crash" after my failed IVF on top of 6 failed IUI's, coming off of 8 months of hormones, the holidays and going into the new year where I will turn 40!
I did start seeing the IF shrink again and have started taking Xanax 3x's a day... WOW... it takes the edge off the terrible anxiety I was feeling AND I sleep well at night without any other drugs!
My WTF appointment with my RE is on Monday (yes my fertile friends who follow my blog, WTF means what you think it means). I've not spent too much time prepping for it. What do I ask?
- What have you learned about my ability to conceive after 6 IUI's and 1 IVF?
- What are the leading causes of my inability to conceive? How do we address this?
- What could have been done to improve the number/quality of eggs/embryos from my IVF?
- Will I be able to have a child with my own eggs?
- When can I do another IVF? What will we do differently? What are my chances for success?
What should I add to the list? Will Dr. T have the answers?
It's not been a full month since my IVF BFN but this break has seemed to last an eternity. I've actually enjoyed not counting my cycle days, no injections or suppositories (no alarm going off multiple times daily to remind me to medicate). But I don't enjoy knowing it's a month where I've "wasted" an egg and I have no chance at pregnancy.
Sorry friends, for being a bad blogger. I think the lack of blogging goes along with the TTC break. I'm hoping my break will end next week (AF is due a few days after the WTF appointment).
Everyone needs a break sometimes. I'm glad that you're rallying emotionally and hope that the doc can provide some answers. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteThere is a book called "The Pregnancy Diet". According to the book diet alone can help people become pregnant. That, of course, depends alot on your current diet. May help with embryo quality. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you again & glad you are doing well. Best of luck with your WTF appointment & that Dr T has answers.
ReplyDeleteNot blogging for a couple of weeks is another good way to take a mental break from TTC -- missed you, welcome back! I don't know any thing about your biology but it seems like you shouldn't give up on you own eggs just yet. It took me over 6 months to concieve the first time when I was 37, and then after the miscarriage went through almost 2 years of all kinds of trying before getting lucky with IVF. It just takes a while for some of us, unfortunately, esp as we get more mature. :). Good lick at your WTF apt!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nell, everyone needs a break sometimes. It's good to take time off, to think, to just be with your thoughts - it helps us get back to center. It also helps gear us up for the next big thing.... and I am sending you tons of positive thoughts for your next big thing!!
ReplyDeleteI hope the doctor has all the answers to your questions, and, most importantly, a great plan going forward. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow-
I can't think of any other questions for your RE - I think you have them covered.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you back online!