**Pregnancy discussed**
So I was driving my car tonight on my way to pick up Thai food and suddenly knew I was going to puke! Thankfully I still had some plastic bags nearby that I used as "poop bags" when I took the dogs to Florida over the holidays. I grabbed a bag and sure enough, puked while driving. I know that can't be safe, but my eyes never left the road! I am now wearing this incident like a 'badge of honor'... my funniest pregnancy puke story to date!
I, like many others in this situation before me, am struggling with the changes I need to make to my blog. I've watched many others struggle with this after becoming pregnant after infertility. There is a need to balance the desire to chronicle this new world of pregnancy while being sensitive to the feelings of so many who are still in the trenches of the fight with infertility. I will continue to try to maintain this balance but I do understand if anyone still struggling is unable to read my posts right now, I wont forget how hard it was to read some posts from those who had found success. I did unfollow some bloggers because it was too difficult to read about their exciting new developments when I was going through disappointment after disappointment; I did check their blogs on my own time, when I felt strong enough to read their developments. If anyone needs to stop reading or unfollow me, believe me, I understand.
The other type of balance I am working on is balancing between my fear/thoughts that something will happen vs. positivity/embracing my pregnancy. I don't like to talk about the fear/negative things although the thoughts are with me for fear of jinxing myself. Unless that changes, I wont be writing about my fears anytime soon. I do try to acknowledge the negative thoughts when they come and replace them with positive thoughts, like imagine that everything goes right.
"Morning" sickness kicked in at 7 weeks. I describe the feeling as having a hangover all day, without having the party the night before. I don't puke often. Some days I don't puke at all, other days I'll puke 2 or 3 times, today was a 3x's kind of day. I don't mind the puking. The worst part is brushing my teeth. I don't feel like I've done my teeth justice in weeks. I will gag/puke more often than not when brushing my teeth which in turn makes you want to brush your teeth, but the last thing I want to do is put that toothbrush near my mouth again.
I am thankful for every molecule of energy this baby has drained from me even though I look forward to the day when I get the 'burst of energy' come second trimester. I embrace the non-party all-day everyday hangover as it's a reminder that my body is doing miraculous things. I am thankful for every gag and puke episode as it reassures me that my body is doing what it needs to to support my little one.
I am 11weeks, 5days today. Tomorrow I meet my MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist), aka "high risk doctor" and will have my NT scan. My good friend LH asked me today if I wanted her to come with me. I had not thought about not going alone, but I embraced her offer to go with me. I love my friends!
Good luck tomorrow! Bring along a camera or something capable of making video clips. They just might let you take a little clip of the baby doing it's thing once they get the medical stuff out of the way. They might say no but they just might say yes!
ReplyDeleteI had the joy of all day sickness right up until my son was delivered. I did find that eating more protein helped. (except when if didn't).
The toothbrush thing is so weird, isn't it? I went literally days without brushing my teeth at times because I just couldn't stand it. I did at least floss, though. Glad to hear everything is going well - I hope you get some great images from the NT scan!
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that your blog has to work for you. If it changes from a infertility blog to a baby blog then that's okay.
ReplyDeleteI hope your scan goes well. Post photos if you get the chance.
ReplyDeletesending you lots of love & good luck tomorrow! I hope you have some light puke days, and love your positiveness about feeling so crappy!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes on the NT scan! FWIW, you might not have that "burst of energy"...I never really did, though the kind of tired I had changed.
ReplyDeletePopsicles really helped me if I was close to puking. And ginger candy.
You are so sweet for being sensitive to the ones that are still struggling. I am very happy to keep following you and reading about your progress, it gives me hope.
ReplyDeleteThat's a cute story to tell your little one later on, about the puke in the car. I've heard ginger is really good for nausea. Hang in there!
Kiddo, your blog is your space and reflects who you are and where you are. It is sweet of you to put your warning up, but if they can't tell by your ticker, your explanation line, and your profile..... Honestly, we're all thrilled. You've been there and done that which is so much easier for some of us petty people to handle. Be good to yourself.
ReplyDeleteYahoooo morning sickness! You're hopefully in the final weeks of the funk. Can't wait to read that the morning sickness has passed and you're loving the 2nd trimester :)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about your awesome NT scab tomorrow!!
Like others have said, this is your blog, your space. You can't make every reader comfortable and happy; it's just impossible to cater to other people. You're honest and acknowledge that it might be difficult for some, and that's the best you can do! Those who aren't in a place to read about pregnancy will choose to avoid your posts for a while, and they'll be ok. And those who find reading about pregnancy after IF inspiring will love reading your posts. And those of us who are already moms and absolutely thrilled about your pregnancy will love reading about your pregnancy - and marveling at your puking and driving skills! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so thoughtful of you to be sensitive to others who are going through IF still. But I think it is sad that people who manage to get pregnant after years of struggle don't feel they can celebrate openly. I know others may not agree with me, but I think you should be able to discuss what is going on with you honestly, without apologies. I, for one, have found your story inspirational. It give me hope to keep continuing on this crazy journey. So keep writing, and don't apologize for it - you are helping us! Good luck with your NT scan, can't wait to hear the results!
ReplyDeleteI still can't brush my teeth without gagging!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your NT scan results!
& ditto the above posts that this is your blog so share what you need & having been thru what you have, I've no doubt you'll share it in a sensitive manner.
I can't agree more with you title and the brushing your teeth. I about lost it the other day. It exactly like brushing your teeth after a hangover. Wow, 12 weeks already. Very, very exciting!
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